Week 28 2012

Tendring Topics......on line

 ‘Where ignorance is bliss ‘tis folly to be wise’

            That is, of course, unless you are a national of some other country, living in the UK and wishing to acquire British citizenship. Citizenship is a valuable and valued possession and I think it quite right that every British citizen should have at least some acquaintance with our customs, our traditions and our culture.  This could, as the government suggests, include some knowledge of Shakespeare and his works, of such historical characters as Florence Nightingale, Lord Nelson and the Duke of Wellington and of past events such as the defeat of the Spanish Armada and the battles of Waterloo and Trafalgar.   My only reservation about requiring would-be British Citizens to acquire this knowledge of British culture, history and geography is the feeling that such a requirement, like charity, should begin at home.  In my childhood and, I think, until after the 1960s, most British citizens would have had at least some acquaintance with the events and people mentioned above.   I am by no means certain that that is so today.  

            I have not reached this conclusion as a result of careful research but simply by casually watching and listening to bits of some of the popular quiz shows on tv. I assume (perhaps rashly) that those prepared to take part in such a quiz consider themselves to be pretty knowledgeable.  From this I have learned that there is widespread encyclopaedic knowledge of world-wide sporting events (particularly football), and of ‘pop and rock groups’ and their performances; and an astonishing ignorance of practically everything else.  Quiz contestants confess that they ‘didn’t do’ history, or geography,  or English literature at school (or found them ‘boring’!) – and don’t seem to have picked up anything about these matters from radio or tv, or from general reading, since.

            My tv viewing preferences are far from being mainly scholarly or intellectual.  I am, for instance, a regular follower of Casualty on Saturday evenings.  It is preceded by the National Lottery Draw, with which is a popular quiz programme, In it to Win it.  I often therefore find myself inadvertently watching the last ten minutes or so of this programme.  One evening a month or so ago I switched on to hear the ‘quizmaster’ saying to a so-far successful contestant.

            ‘This is your final question.  Get it right and you go home with a cheque for £26,000.  Get it wrong – and you go home with nothing.

            ‘This is it.  On one side of the Straits of Dover is the English Channel.  What is the name of the Sea on the other side: Is it The Baltic Sea? The North Sea? or the Mediterranean Sea?’

            To my amazement the contestant was dismayed.  ‘Oh dear’, he said, ‘I never was much good at Geography’.  He scratched his head, pondered for a few minutes and then said, ‘I think it must be the Mediterranean’. 

While native-born Brits display that degree of ignorance about our country, it seems a little harsh to deny British citizenship to someone born and brought up in Karachi, Budapest, or Little Rock, who confuses Florence Nightingale with Lady Godiva or Elizabeth Fry with Boadicea.

Dangerous Liaisons

          Everybody is shocked and dismayed at the revelation of widespread corruption and fraud in the hallowed world of The City.  Everybody (except, of course, those directly involved) insists that there must be a full public enquiry to find out what went wrong and to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.  What’s more it is generally agreed that it must be thorough and that evidence should be given under oath so that if subsequently it were to be established that witnesses had strayed from the truth, they could be prosecuted for perjury.

            There was profound disagreement though about how this enquiry is to be conducted.  Ed Miliband wanted it to be a transparently independent enquiry (like the Leveson Enquiry into the activities of the Press) presided over by a judge.  Prime Minister David Cameron however and as was to be expected his view prevailed, insisted that what the public want is an enquiry that can be conducted speedily and efficiently, and conclude with firm recommendations that can be swiftly implemented – quite unlike  the Leveson Enquiry.

            I am not at all sure that on this matter the Prime Minister has correctly gauged the public mood.   Surely most of us would like to see a thorough rather than a rapid probing of ‘the City’s’ little secrets and would prefer it to be conducted by a politically-independent judge. The MPs’ expenses scandal has left us with as little trust in professional politicians as in professional money-changers.

            To me one of the most fascinating aspects of the Leveson Enquiry so far has been to see top politicians squirming  as they tried to answer embarrassing questions about the closeness of their relationships with Rupert Murdoch and his entourage (I bet David Cameron will never again sign off a letter, email, text or even a birthday card to anyone at all with L.O..L.)  It confirmed my suspicions that, although there was never any formal agreement to do so, political leaders did bend the policies of their parties to please their media friends and, by so doing, ensure friendly and positive press headlines.

            Had the Enquiry been conducted by MPs, however carefully chosen, I don’t believe for one moment that we would have had those revelations.  Conservative MPs certainly wouldn’t have wanted to take part in the embarrassment  of those on whom any possible future advancement would depend.  Opposition MPs would have been cautious – thinking, ‘It could be me being questioned next time!’

            I would like there to be a similar probing of close friendships between leading MPs and influential leaders of The City’ – the Chairmen and Chief Executives of  Banks and of similar prestigious financial institutions.   I think we might well be given a few surprises.

            This is unlikely to happen if a parliamentary committee is to preside. We had a preview of this in the ‘grilling’ given to the former Chief Executive of Barclays Bank when he appeared before a Parliamentary Committee.  All that emerged was that the former Chief Executive dearly loved Barclays for whom he had worked for many years; that he had suspected that other Banks might be metaphorically ‘cooking the books’ but that it had never occurred to him for one moment that his own bank might be doing the same thing.   He would never have got away with that had Lord Leveson been questioning him!

The Taliban’s ‘Fifth Column’

            When, during the Spanish Civil War of the late 1930s, the Fascist General Mola was besieging Republican-held Madrid, he claimed that he had four columns of troops outside the city and a further clandestine ‘fifth column’ of sympathisers inside. Thus was born the expression fifth columnist to describe the unknown enemy within.

I thought of this when I learned of the latest ‘friendly fire’ incident in Afghanistan.  Three young British soldiers had been shot by an Afghan.  At first we were told that it was by a man wearing Afghan police uniform, giving the impression that he could have been a member of the Taliban who had stolen the uniform.  Later it was revealed that the culprit was, in fact, a genuine Afghan police officer who had been recruited two years earlier and had been trained (presumably this had included perfecting his marksmanship!) by us.

            I can imagine nothing worse for a soldier on active service than to be never quite sure that you won’t unexpectedly be shot in the back by someone whom you had helped train and whom you were expected to regard as an honoured and trusted comrade. Afghan soldiers and police officers who turn their weapons on those who have trained them are, so we are assured, only a tiny minority. No doubt - but for every one who summons up the courage and resolution to act in this way, there are probably a score who would do the same if they could summon up that resolve – or who are waiting for the right moment.   What’s more, I am quite sure that for every active Afghan mutineer there are thousands of Afghan civilians who would never dream of actively revolting against NATO forces, but who equally would never consider handing over one of their compatriots and co-religionists, whatever crimes he may have committed, to the justice of the foreign infidels.

            I have little doubt that a week before the outbreak of the Indian Mutiny in northern India in 1857 every junior officer in the East India Company’s army would have sworn that, whatever might be the case elsewhere, the men under his command were unswervingly loyal to the Company and to the Crown.  But, of course, they weren’t.  Hindu and Muslim native soldiers were united in believing that they owed a higher loyalty to their culture and their faith.   

            We have to face the fact that many, perhaps most, Afghans have a very different mind-set from our own.  A clear example of these different values was given us some months ago when some American soldiers thoughtlessly but accidentally, burned some copies of the Koran along with other discarded paper.  A week or so later a single American soldier ran amok, entered an Afghan village at night, and deliberately shot a number of innocent civilians, including women and children.  The accidental book burning provoked violent anti-NATO demonstrations all over Afghanistan, and the murder of NATO soldiers.  The deliberate murder of civilians was followed only by local protests and, as far as I can recall, there were no violent reprisals.

            It is time we realized that training indigenous armies and police forces and supplying them with weapons, does nothing to prevent those weapons and that training being used against us.   Some of the Argentinian army officers involved in the invasion of the Falklands, had been trained at Sandhurst.  The Taliban today are finding that the killing skills that our Intelligence Services and those of the Americans instilled in the ‘gallant Mojihadin’ a generation ago to kill the Soviet foreign infidels, are now being found to be equally effective at killing foreign infidels from NATO.

            When French NATO soldiers were shot by those they had helped to train, the French Government promptly withdrew its troops from Afghanistan.  My only reservation about our government taking the same course, is concern about the fate of Afghans who have been foolish enough to accept western values when they lose our protection.  There was a little-publicised bloodbath of ‘collaborators’ when Soviet troops withdrew.  I very much fear that our withdrawal would be the prelude to another slaughter of the innocents.  But that, I think, is bound to happen whether we withdraw early or ‘according to plan’ in a year or two’s time.

Danegeld?

          I learn from a tv news bulletin that there is international agreement to donate billions of pounds (mainly from the UK, Germany and Japan) to the Afghan Government ‘for development’, to buy their  loyalty when our troops are withdrawn.  Let’s hope it works.  I am reminded of a piece of verse that my wife Heather and I wrote many years ago to amuse our grandchildren, about King Ethelred’s attempt,  at the end of the first millennium, to buy off marauding Danes.

‘The Danes rampage throughout the land’, said poor King Ethelred.

‘No-one is ever safe from them, not even home in bed.

They’re worse than football hooligans, they’re worse than lager-louts,

And we’re not much good at fighting them.  We’ve lost the last three bouts!

I’ve heard that Norsemen can be bribed. I think that what I’ll do

Is scour the land for golden coins and find out if it’s true’

‘You there, the Danish leader! – yes it’s you I am addressing.

Let’s get this deal sewn up today – and let’s have no more messing.

Just take these three large bags of gold and sail away to Denmark.

First sign here, on the dotted line.  You can’t? Well, make a pen-mark.

‘Why, thank-you and God bless you sir. You’ve no more cause to fear.

We’ll sail away this very day;

See you again – next year!